Having "Enough"

In the middle of my baby-gear-buying-frenzy (brought on, I'm sure, by some nesting hormones - this couldn't be my normal personality!), I picked up an article I'd cut out several months ago from the Horizon in-flight magaizine about how we tend to want more more more, but that more stuff/house/car will not make us happier or more satisfied. This was a message I particularly needed to hear a few months back when I was finding my work/life balance (a sham of a phrase - there is no such "balance") difficult to juggle. This article helped me see that, even if I am no more successful at work than I am now, and I am never compensated more than I am now, that will be "enough" for me and my family. In an industry that worships the billable hour and client development (you can NEVER have too many of either), this was such a liberating idea! I don't normally share this kind of thing on this blog, which let's face it is devoted to Andy pics, but these kinds of reminders are few and far between so I thought I'd share.


Enough is Enough
'More is better' is not always the best philosphy
Stan Lankowitz

Get the next promotion, buy a second home, set a monthly sales record. We are bombarded with pervasive and persistent messages to move forward, strive for higher levels of personal performance and professional achievement, and go for it. Nowhere is this never-ending quest more significant than in the domain of money. We believe enough money will give us security, peace of mind and a satisfying quality of life.

The drive to increase is pervasive. Cells divide and multiply, one plant produces many seeds and businesses expand. Even those annoying "to do" lists mysteriously grow without restraint. Expectations for more, bigger and better seem embedded in our biological programming.

On top of that, creative minds use billions of advertising dollars annually to urge us to buy the latest and greatest product or service so we can look better, feel better and even have better relationships.

When we experience something pleasurable (such as a salary raise or performance reward), we naturally want more. The danger is when the desire for more is so seductive and powerful that it interferes with the fulfilling experience of having enough.

The definition of "enough" is almost always more than we currently have. People earning $40,000 per year believe if they were earning $70,000, they would have enough and life would be wonderful. And people earning $400,000 believe that $700,000 would get the job done. What a vicious trap! It keeps people stuck in frustration and failure.

Remember the story about the farmer who tied a carrot to the end of a stick and strapped the stick to his donkey's head? No matter how persistent, the donkey could never enjoy eating the carrot that forever dangled just out of reach. This is a sobering metaphor about our relationship with money.

Here are two ways to free yourself from this predicament:

First, make thoughtful, conscious choices about priorities. What are your fundamental values in life? Are you managing time and money in ways that are aligned with those values? If you value family time, are you spending evenings and weekends at work? If you value compassion, do you spend money in ways that reflect that value? By clarifying your values and priorities, you can shift from the chase for "more" to the choice for what is meaningful.

Second, choose a specific, measurable definition of "enough." Turn a vague desire for "more" into a dollar amount that would be "enough." How much income is sufficient to provide you with a gratifying lifestyle? Write it down. Prepare a budget. If you're in a committed relationship, discuss it fully and agree on a specific amount.

Of course, manifesting more than enough is something to celebrate. But, falling into the mindless default pattern of always wanting more and never having enough is a recipe that guarantees perpetual disapointment.

Striving to achieve and accomplish more is exciting, fulfilling and even inspiring. So, go for it. And, at the same time, remember to stop and be grateful for already having enough.